For Those Who Keep Trying To Be Better

To you who are the quietly brave,

I’ve been thinking a lot about people who are trying to flourish. Those who wake up with a little more hope on some days, and with a heavy, aching heart on others. Those who keep showing up anyway. If that’s you, I want to speak to you gently and hopefully help you find ease.

Here’s the truth I wish someone had told us earlier: every attempt you make, no matter how small or invisible it feels, rewires a tiny piece of your internal map. You don’t always see the shifts as they happen. Sometimes it takes days, sometimes months, sometimes a season of your life before you notice that you no longer respond the way you used to. But the work is happening faithfully inside you.

We’re conditioned to measure growth by outcomes. We look for changes we can point to, or progress that others can recognize. But the human mind learns very differently. It grows through feedback, trial, error, reflection, and adjustment. It learns through the moments you pause long enough to ask, “What happened here? What was I feeling? What do I need? What can I try next?” These small moments of awareness are the growth.

Every time you reflect, you strengthen your ability to think about your own thinking. That’s not a small thing. It’s one of the deepest markers of emotional maturity and one of the most important capacities for flourishing. You’re literally building a wiser self of you.

And maybe you don’t give yourself enough credit for this. Maybe you think reflection is passive, or that effort only counts when something big shifts. But I want you to consider this: if the only measure of progress was visible change, most transformation would go unnoticed. So much of our becoming happens underground, like roots reorganizing themselves before new growth appears above the soil.

So yes, even when it feels like nothing’s moving, something is moving. Even when your life looks the same from the outside, the inside of you is re-aligning. Even when your steps are small, they are (still) steps.

So if today you’re trying, let that be enough. Let it count. Let it mean something.

To be a better version of you is more about a relationship with yourself. It’s the way you soften your inner edges. It’s the way you choose the gentler response, even when the harsher one feels familiar. It’s the way you pause before repeating an old pattern. It’s the moment you realise you no longer abandon yourself the way you once did. And sometimes, it’s simply the decision to try again.

I hope you remember that effort alone is evidence of desire, of courage, of longing. People only try when something in them knows they are meant for more.

You are changing, even on the days you feel stuck. You are growing, even when the world can’t see it. You are shifting, re-mapping, re-aligning in your unique ways.

And one day, you’ll look back and realize that every small effort you once dismissed was actually a seed. A root. A beginning.

With love,

The Self Hug

About Our Author

Yanitrasari Widyastuti is a mental health therapist and wellness consultant with a background in psychology and counselling, dedicated to empowering others on their journey to well-being. She believes in the power of empathy to inspire self-discovery and growth. Based in Jakarta, Indonesia, she begins her day with a morning walk to her favorite spot for coffee, embracing small rituals that ground her in the present.